Lola Phoenix

Lola is a non-binary (pronoun: they) queer future best selling sci-fi/fantasy novelist.

Changing agreements

Reading Time: 3 minutes My partner and I have been together for 10 years. We’ve been practicing polyam off and on throughout our marriage. Recently we decided to open up. We made agreements and decided on our relationship dynamic. He met someone and didn’t say anything. I finally figured it out and asked directly about her. He said she …

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Episode 81: Just FOMO

Reading Time: 9 minutes Thinking about the things you might be missing out on doesn’t, in fact, make you a jerk. That’s what’s on this week’s episode of Non-Monogamy Help. Non-Monogamy Help Non-Monogamy Help is a relationship advice podcast for people in non-monogamous or polyamorous relationships. With the help of a therapist with over a decade of experience, your …

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Shunned in a triad

Reading Time: 7 minutes About four months ago, my long-term girlfriend (Z) and I opened our relationship to include her best friend (A). Seemingly everyone was ok with this, nonmonogamy is something I’ve been interested in, but never experienced. Z and A have also been friends for a very long time and have dabbled somewhat in nonmonogamy before. They …

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Episode 79: Outside Veto

Reading Time: 10 minutes Sometimes when your partner wants non-monogamy you can be left feeling like you’ve failed or not done enough. That’s what’s on this week’s episode of Non-Monogamy Help. Discussion Topic: How do you feel about giving your friends details about your relationships? Listen here on or on Anchor. Visit the Anchor website to find where else …

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Emotions are not demands

Reading Time: 4 minutes Do you have any constructive advice for someone loving with a Meta as a roommate? It’s been uniquely difficult compared to previous relationships. I am struggling with the amount of time my primary partner now spends with their new partner. My primary and I have been together monogamously for about 5 years and just opened …

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