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Responsibility and metamours

What emotional responsibilities do you have in a relationship and where do the end? How do you navigate relationships with metamours? These are for and about negotiation.

When your partner hates your metamour

I am writing to ask for some advice on a non-monogamy situation that has turned ugly. I have a feeling I know what the right thing to do is, but want to make sure I have covered all of my bases. In the past 6 months, I broke up with

How to manage (or not) your metamour

My partner and I have been together for 2.5 years. Our relationship has always been open (we are both poly). I am autistic. He recently started seeing a girl that I have issues with, and may have knocked her up on Sunday. He handled the situation with less tact

If you’ve crossed a boundary

This is a follow up column from ‘When someone’s rules become your own’. Thank you so much for your detailed and thoughtful response — it couldn’t have come at a better time. I say this because the situation has changed somewhat since I wrote to you, though unfortunately it’

When someone else’s rules become yours

I’m fairly new to poly[am], and as such I am making plenty of mistakes. Usually I can see where I (or, in some cases, the other person) has gone wrong, but this one is doing my head in. I have a wonderful husband and two lovers in my

Don't ask, don't tell in polyamory

I am a woman in a stable open relationship with a man (let’s call him Steve). I have never felt any particular draw to polyamory for myself, but our relationship has been open since the beginning — he is bisexual and when we met already had a FWB-type arrangement going

Managing your partner’s emotions

A few months ago my partner and I decided to open our monogamous relationship. It’s something that we had talked about since we met and something that both of us had tried or were interested in long before meeting. We both read your column and have done a lot

Setting boundaries with metamours

I am in a stable, long-term non-monogamous relationship with a man I deeply love. We do not cohabit (I have a deep need for my own space) but we live close to each other and we are in and out of each other’s houses with no forewarning or announcements

When your partner pulls a veto

My longterm boyfriend and I decided to start doing polyamory together a few months ago. We each started dating someone around the same time (his date was someone new to his life and mine was a poly[am] friend we’ve known for less than a year). My boyfriend wasn’

When should you involve metamours?

I’m new to poly[am] and just in need of some advice. I’ve been dating someone that recently broke up with their nesting partner. It was very messy, and he hasn’t been the same since it happened. I have been developing deeper feelings for him, and so

Hierarchies and emotional responsibility

I know your column deals more with non-monogamy in general, and your particular experience may not be with triads. But, that’s the topic of this question — I’ve got my fingers crossed you can give me some insight! I’m in a polyfi triad with a married couple. We’