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Insecurity and needs

How do you manage your own needs with others, boundaries and the feeling that you’re not ‘enough’ for someone? These articles are for people struggling to balance and communicate their needs.

Rules and non-monogamy

CN: This question and column has explicit discussion of sexual acts. My husband and I have started doing soft swaps recently. We’re about two years into the LS.. Once he tried kissing another woman. It upset me at the time. (I believe it is the meaning I attribute to

Bare minimum in relationships

I have been in a relationship for 4 years, and it has been an amazing relationship. Throughout, we have been open and not defined our relationship. Which I was ok with because of my feelings for him, and sensitive to the fact that something was sensitive and hard for him

Ultimatums and polyamory

I’m a woman in my late 40’s, married for 4 years to a woman in her early 50’s. About a year ago, we decided to open our marriage and date other people. We were both on board. We shared a couple of threesomes, and all was well.

Incompatibility and polyamory

I have a very unique and complicated relationship that I need help with. I am M, 23, and my partner is F, 25. I read in some of your posts that just because you’re different doesn’t mean you’re incompatible. I want to start by listing some of

Can one person meet all your needs?

Am I Poly[am]? I need help with deciding whether I’m poly and whether to tell my wife. OK, so, we’ve been married for 24 years. I love my wife very much. It’s not the same romantic one that we felt before getting married. But we are

When reassurance means denial

My wife and I sat down after our one year anniversary, and she advised me that she has always been polyamorous and wanted to experience this part of herself. I am a monogamist, and even though I do not fully understand this, I told her that I was willing to

Feeling valued in non-monogamy

How do I feel special when things I share with my partner are also shared with her other partner? The reason I titled this blog ‘valued’ is because, in essence, I think that when we talk about the special things we do with romantic partners, we’re meaning that the