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Lola Phoenix

When a friend dates your partner

I’ve been in a non-monogamous relationship for a couple years. Unfortunately, I haven’t really had the courage to date anyone. My partner has but I don’t crush very easily. When I do bring up people I’m interested in it always requires a lot of processing my

Is polyamory just a phase?

I’m 53, South African born and bred, French nationality, living in France, working in Geneva in a respectable job that does not pay well. I am a father of 3 boys and 1 daughter and am divorced. I have a great relationship with my ex and her new husband

Polyamory and borderline personality disorder

I am 37, cis female, straight and polyamorous. I have two current partners: B (47, cis male, heteroflexible, polyamorous) — my wonderful boyfriend, best friend and dear lover of 1 year. A (38, cis male, queer, polyamorous) — about whom I am writing. A and I met 5 months ago and began

When should you involve metamours?

I’m new to poly[am] and just in need of some advice. I’ve been dating someone that recently broke up with their nesting partner. It was very messy, and he hasn’t been the same since it happened. I have been developing deeper feelings for him, and so

Is polyamory just a way to cheat ethically?

I have always been monogamous. I have been in a monogamous relationship for the past 22 years. While I have several friends that have been in the past or are currently in polyamorous relationships, it has never held a lot of interest to me. I know (intellectually) that it is

How to get over your partner seeing other people

I’ve been in a relationship with my high school sweetheart for about 10 years now. A couple of years ago we started to go abroad, on exchange and live in other countries. The distance opened the relationship. She had sex with another person for the first time ever (I

Is opening your relationship worth it?

I have been with my wife for about 15 years, married for 5 now, and in all accounts have had a amazing life together. We love each other deeply and have had very few complication in our time together. I’ve always felt that I was truly lucky to have

Turning a couple into a triad

CN: Question contains explicit sexual content. My husband and I have been in a monogamous relationship for five years, and married for three. For the last few months we’ve wanted to add a third member to our family. Two weeks ago we reconnected with a girl that we went

When you should be happy, but you’re not

My husband and I have been married 22 years and he has cheated on me all throughout, be good and then he’d cheat and I’d find out then we’d work it out. etc….. 2 years ago he started talking to a girl on line was dom/sub.

Hierarchies and emotional responsibility

I know your column deals more with non-monogamy in general, and your particular experience may not be with triads. But, that’s the topic of this question — I’ve got my fingers crossed you can give me some insight! I’m in a polyfi triad with a married couple. We’