Non-Monogamy Help (Page 39)

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When you should be happy, but you’re not

My husband and I have been married 22 years and he has cheated on me all throughout, be good and then he’d cheat and I’d find out then we’d work it out. etc….. 2 years ago he started talking to a girl on line was dom/sub.

Hierarchies and emotional responsibility

I know your column deals more with non-monogamy in general, and your particular experience may not be with triads. But, that’s the topic of this question — I’ve got my fingers crossed you can give me some insight! I’m in a polyfi triad with a married couple. We’

Successful solo polyamory and control

From monogamy to solo poly[amory]. How to do this? I’m breaking up with a live in partner to pursue solo polyamory — I don’t want to be part of a couple, and I don’t want my other relationships to be controlled by another person, but I do

Useless Polyam Advice: Jealousy vs. Fear

This is the second post in a series of blogs about the most common advice offered to polyamorous people, specifically newbies, why it’s useless and what you can do instead. “Feel bad? You must be jealous.” I’ve written a bit about this in “Thirteen things I wish I’

Can you become polyamorous?

Hi, I am/was currently in a polyamorous relationship. The person I was seeing is Polyamorous and I was notified of it after we became a little more intimate but not sexually active. I was upset for the somewhat late notice of it but still early enough in a way

Useless Polyam Advice: Self-worth

This is the first post in a series of blogs I plan to do about the most common advice offered to polyamorous people, specifically newbies, why it’s useless and what you can do instead. “Just believe in yourself” The number one thing said to you when you’re scared

Five reasons ‘Couples privilege’ doesn’t exist

This article was written in 2017, so it is possible my perspective has shifted since then however the crux of my argument regarding the use of the term remains. I’ve seen this concept floating around for a long time and I’ve always not really agreed with it or

How to break up in polyamory

Do you have any advice about breakups in poly relationships? I realized I’m not sexually into a new partner but am emotionally into them. I realized in most breakups the stories I hear are about “I just want to be alone”, “not sure what I want right now”, “it’

The hierarchy polyamorous people don’t talk enough about

Hierarchical polyamory is seen as an inherently negative thing within many polyamorous subcultures, but very myopically. There’s a focus on having a primary/secondary structure as always problematic but I actually find that there’s a hierarchy that’s not really spoken about — and that’s the the role

Hypersexuality and polyamory

I’m now in a relationship, we had “something” between us for a while but only about a month ago, as it became more intense and also we had some problems, we’ve decided to say we’re together. It’s an open relationship, and we mostly expect clear communication